Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
