ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
