Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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