wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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