She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize