She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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