i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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