He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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