we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
