..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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