You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
