last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
My balls are so social today.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize