why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
