drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Randomize
