he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
