Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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