But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
