just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Randomize
