do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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