Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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