She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
