I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Drunk is not a location!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
