I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
