I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
