I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
