Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
