I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
