im gay
i know
yea but for you.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
