Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
