Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
We're too hungover to prance.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
