I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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