Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
