dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
