I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
