it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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