Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
