it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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