so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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