shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
