I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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