I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
