I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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