so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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