i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
