At least make sure they are 18
Why
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Life without a bra equals bliss.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
