I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
