Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
