i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
