You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize