I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
