Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
