Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
