sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize