He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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