So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
