please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
