Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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