I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
