weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I've blown a few things in my day
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize