Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
